1. Make sure all your clothes look like they came from Goodwill, Salvation Army, or conversely some overpriced thrift/vintage shop.
2. Listen to music wherever you are, regardless of circumstances. (Class, bathroom, when someone is talking to you, walking across a busy intersection)
3. Always wear the white headphones. Never wear earbuds or standard headphones. Your headphones should look either very big, very old, or both.
4. Read pitckforkmedia.com religiously, and take everything said there as holy writ.
5. If someone asks what you are listening to, don’t even bother telling them because SURELY they have never heard of the band before.
6. Never buy your music online, and if you do, don’t let anyone know.
7. Scoff at the idea of listening to any radio stations, unless of course they are some obscure college station or show that no one knows about.
8. Immediately stop liking a band the moment they go “mainstream.”
9. Be very careful to always be a non-conformist just for the sake of not conforming (like all the other non-conformists)
10. Use an ipod. Never use an iPod
11. Buy a bunch of obscure vinyls and store them in old paper boxes.
12. Get all your opinions about music from pretentious sources and claim them as your own.
Let me know which ones I missed. (I’m sure there are several.) 
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
This is absolutely priceless.
You forgot – “At shows you want to see, never watch the show. Stand aside as if you hadn’t noticed who’s playing.”
Haha, great post. I must admit, I am/was guilty of a few of these.
I am too…I am too… =)
-must love radiohead or some other “indie before there was indie” band. Oh wait… that’s me
Hahaha, wonderful post.
Wear thick-brimmed, rectangular glasses, even if you don’t need them, as well an unflattering hairstyle? That may just be where I live…
I am overly guilty of number 5, for sure. I just started telling people, “*Sigh*, just check my last.fm.”
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